Selections From the WQ6 Quote Wall

In honor of the coming exodus from my longtime home, I have decided to post some selections from our beloved quote wall. You might think me above such things as inside jokes, but how wrong you are, Sir!

"Girls are such emotional balls!" - Joel

"She's got nice big ones...eyes!" - Mike

"This reminds me of my birth." - Paul, on being upside down on the couch

"It's really easy to like girls, until you get to know them." -Alan

Matt: (On Alan's dancing) "It looks like you're trying to take a dump."
Alan: "Really? I thought it looked hip."

"I keep getting requests from bisexual women in London who want to be friends with me!" - Stephen

"Apparently, he wants to impregnate Dumbledore." - Ryan

(singing) "You made us breakfast, F you!" - Joel

"Ryan, you've gotta stop referring to yourself as Keira Knightly!" - Josh

"I have a huge A!" - Alan

"Have you seen my IT?" - Chad

"Don 't touch my bosoms! At all! Ever!" - Stephen

"Giant hamburger? Haven't seen it." - Ryan

"We're declaring a national day of Alonzo Mourning?" - Alan

"Mike has stupid eyes!" - Ryan

"They're going to sword-fart!" - Mike

"Toby Keith IS the poor man's Toby Keith!" - Ryan

"You want some cheesy rice? You can put it on your wiener!" - Alan

"Oh, you mean endowed literally!" - Mike

"Here's the thing Josh...shut up!" - Joel

"Marie Osmond needed me!" - Alan

Jason: "Is Paul up?"
Matt: Yeah, I've been riding him...metaphorically."

"Let's just call it Jock Strap Night." - Matt

"...he broke his back...mountin'?" - Ryan

"If you're a person who uses instant messenger slang in everyday conversation, you need to be hit in the head with a board." - Ryan

Alan: "So, I'm engaged!"
Matt: "F!!!!"

"I don't want to hear you and Jennifer Love Hewitt in the same sentence again!" - Ryan (To Alan)

"I want to go to a funny church." - Jason

"Let's IMDB that a**hole!" - Jason

"Screwing friends is fun!" - Paul

"Here's an update: get bent!" - Paul

"I apologize for not having sufficient mammary glands." - Joel (To Josh's baby)

"Jason hates things. Anything that's a thing, he hates." - Ryan

Jason: How long is a fortnight?
Ryan and Alan: "Two weeks."
Jason: "F!!!"

"Matt just birthed himself on me!" - Rachel

"I'm used to having things thrown at me. Things that are women." - Alan

"If I were a woman, I would want to be Renee Zellweger." - Mike

"Boni- It's the plural of bonus." - Mike

"If a joke falls flat, it came from Matt. If there's laughter from all, it must be Paul." - Ryan and Matt

Ryan: "But who would win in a sarcasm contest?"
Jason: " A sarcastoff?"

"I decided it would be best if WE ate them." - Josh, on doughnuts

"My life is an Abba song." - Ryan

"If you're going to look seductive, you should be doing it on a clean surface." - Alan

"Double your Shatner, only five dollars?! I'm in!" - Jason

"I'm not comfortable interdigitating with my toes." - Charan

"I'm really impressed with the amount of abuse your crotch can take." - Alan

"I like knockers!" - Ryan

"Life sucks a lot, but most of the time it's good." - Josh

"I think marriage is like being stranded on a desert island with the hottest girl you've ever seen as your personal love slave... but once a month, she gives you a swift kick to the groin." - Mike

"I am considerate of your junk." - Joel

Thank you.

Footwear

So, I did something that I never thought I would do. I bought some flip-flops. For a bit of backstory, I've had the same sandals for 11 years. Yes, that may sound like along time, but they're served me well. But they were not flip-flops. I've never cared much for flip flops. The presence of something between my toes never quite sat well with me. the same with the constant suction to my foot. I have been a staunch hardliner against such things, but yesterday I was convinced to buy some and wear them. I can't say that I have totally, rescinded my earlier opinions, but I can at least say that they are not as uncomfortable as I previously thought.

Solo

So...It's been a while since my last post. And somehow that feels like a confession at an AA meeting. At least, that's what I assume AA meetings are like from years of tv viewing. Anyway, I thought I'd comment on the fact that I have no roommates anymore. It's odd. One of my roommates got married, one moved to Oregon, and one is doing an internship in Texas. This is the first time I've lived alone. Which is not to say that I'm actually alone, I have neighbors who like to pop in, a girlfriend who's over quite often, and the recently married roommate likes to spend his afternoons here playing Xbox. ( It's his xbox, which might explain that better.) With all sorts of people around, there's very little opportunity to feel lonely, or to walk around the apartment with no pants on. Sigh.

That Was a Weird One

Since I've already talked about odd dreams in one post, I didn't want to talk about it again so soon, but last night's was a doozy. I dreamt that while hunting for Sasquatch, I came across a group of small (1 foot tall) creatures with humanoid furry bodies but with a head like a moose. They lived in a volcano and ate people. That's not the worst part. They could talk and told me about their plans for world domination. Apparently after they ate someone, they could make a copy of that person that would be under their control. They would use that person's copy to lure others to their volcano where they would be eaten. They were evil. It was scary.

Back to Where I Once Belonged

My 10 year high school reunion is coming up this summer. (I know, I'm old.) I really don't want to go. I think about it and the vast majority of those people I have no desire to see ever again. Not that they were bad or evil or that high school was a terrible time. For the most part, I had fun back then. It's just that I feel very little connection with the random people I went to high school with. I've kept in touch with a few close friends and that seems to be enough for me. The reason I bring this up is because I came across the myspace pages for a few guys that I hung out with back then, and other than a mild curiosity, I feel very content with the friends and associates that I have now. I don't need a reunion. I don't need to compare my life with other people's... As long as their lives aren't better than mine.

A Season For Sneezes

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
-Doug Larson

I agree, except that there hasn't been much slush lately. Spring is nice, though, in spite of the allergies and the fact that it heralds the season of unbearable heat.

These Dreams

Lately, I've had some very bizarre dreams that I feel deserve to be written down in some form. First of all, the other night, I dreamt that I was in a Mexican restaurant with my roommate, Alan. We ordered flautas, which is one of my favorite Mexican foods. As I ate the flauta, I noticed that it tasted odd, which prompted me to go to the kitchen to find out what was the problem. It turned out that they had run out of regular flauta meat and were roasting robins, (yes, the birds) and then deep frying them in a tortilla. I was understandably upset, but somehow, the cooks convinced me that it was right and proper to eat roasted robins deep fried in a tortilla. Even Alan seemed to be enjoying them thoroughly. At this point, I left the restaurant and went outside where I ran into Barack Obama. At this point it gets hazy, but somehow, Obama and I travelled back in time to the 1950's in order to rob a bank. This was not done for any evil reasons, rather, somehow robbing this bank was the only way to save a man's life. It was wacky.

And last night's dream was not any better. It seems I was the American-born son of a South American diplomat and was kidnapped along with my little sister and taken to Mexico where we had to escape and struggle against many odds to make it back home. Also, this dream was entirely in Spanish. Fun, no?