Vampires

My wife and I have been slowly watching the entire series of the X-Files. As I have watched, I have noticed that quite a few episodes deal with people who are genetic freak of one kind or another who must prey on some part of living humans to survive. Basically these are vampires, albeit vampires who eat livers, fat, or cancer cells to live. This makes me wonder about the many varieties of vampire that could exist. Would a vampire that eats toenails be as scary? What about one who eats hair or simply ingests saliva through kissing? A vampire who eats cartilage? Is it the fact that they drink blood what makes regular vampires so scary? Or is it that they kill you ar can turn you in to one of them. I'm curious. What's your favorite vampire?

Did That Just Happen?

Last Friday, I leave campus, get in my car, and drive toward the exit. As I approach the stop sign, I see a woman standing in my way. This is an older woman, of indeterminate race, in her late fifties or early sixties, with long silver hair. As I approach, she moves out of the way, but as I stop, she comes and taps on my window. Confused, but not wanting to be rude, I roll it down. She asks me where I am going. Guessing that she wants a ride somewhere in town, I tell her that I am headed to the freeway and from there north. Acknowledging where I am going, she responds, "great, you can give me a ride." She then gets in my car. Confused, scared, but not wanting to be rude, I oblige. I drive her to her destination all the while listening to her tell me about what movies I should go see, including the comment that I should see Mamma Mia because, "it is not a guy movie like everyone thinks it is." And she clearly said "guy", not "gay", making it even weirder. At one point, I am unclear as to the directions she is giving me, so I ask her for clarity. She then very rudely asks if she's talking too fast. The whole experience left me baffled and slightly shaken because the woman was supremely creepy. I guess I should just be glad she didn't stab me and steal my car.

I Should Teach Comedy Instead

Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
-Mel Brooks

Sometimes I Miss the Cold War

If there was a cold war...

Kingdomality

I am often bombarded with baseless accusations that, were I to travel through time to the medieval era, I would be stuck as some sort of squire or perhaps, even a page. "Not so!" I cry, yet lack the evidence to prove them wrong. I recently took the "Kingdomality" personality test online and discovered that, if I had lived then:

Your distinct personality, The Discoverer, might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your overriding goal is to go where no one else has ever gone before. Regardless of the number of available natural problems to be solved, it is not unusual for you to continually challenge yourself with new situations or obstacles that you have created. You are an insatiable explorer of people, places, things and ideas. You thrive on constant change and anything new or different. On the positive side, you can be creatively rational as well as open minded and just. On the negative side, you might be an impractical and indecisive procrastinator. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Bliss

The last time I posted was ten days before my wedding. Since then, I've received no small amount of flack from erstwhile friends and well-wishers who hope for me to post some kind of update. Well, here we are. I bow down to your demands. I am well. I am good. I am great. Honestly, I can't think of a time when I've ever been happier. Being married is more than just having a new, gorgeous roommate, it's an experience I can't quite describe yet. Yes, there are the standard words for happiness, and I could throw them all at you, giving you some small amount of understanding, but it does not seem like enough. There are times when one might claim that "words fail" but for me, here, they do. I love my wife more than I can say. I am happy beyond mere adjectives.

Me and Mrs. Jones

I'm sure that many of you are familiar with my venerable vehicle, Mrs. Jones. The good Mrs. is a 1989 Toyota Camry. She and I have had our share of wacky adventures, she was severely beat up during the filming of CTU: Provo, and broken into once. Things were still good though, until this last summer. The air conditioning totally failed. This was enough to drive a wedge between us. There were many muttered complains as the sweat oozed down my forehead, and onto my glasses. But now, I regret my words said to her in anger and haste. You see, on Saturday, Mrs. Jones was diagnosed as undriveable. There had been a strange knocking lately whenever I'd hit the brakes, she veer wildly to the side for no reason. I took her to a mechanic and it turns out that she is in need of costly repairs. So costly in fact, that it's been decided that I should rather purchase another car rather than repair Mrs. Jones. So, it looks like the end of another relationship, just before my wedding. So long, Mrs. Jones.