In honor of the coming exodus from my longtime home, I have decided to post some selections from our beloved quote wall. You might think me above such things as inside jokes, but how wrong you are, Sir!
"Girls are such emotional balls!" - Joel
"She's got nice big ones...eyes!" - Mike
"This reminds me of my birth." - Paul, on being upside down on the couch
"It's really easy to like girls, until you get to know them." -Alan
Matt: (On Alan's dancing) "It looks like you're trying to take a dump."
Alan: "Really? I thought it looked hip."
"I keep getting requests from bisexual women in London who want to be friends with me!" - Stephen
"Apparently, he wants to impregnate Dumbledore." - Ryan
(singing) "You made us breakfast, F you!" - Joel
"Ryan, you've gotta stop referring to yourself as Keira Knightly!" - Josh
"I have a huge A!" - Alan
"Have you seen my IT?" - Chad
"Don 't touch my bosoms! At all! Ever!" - Stephen
"Giant hamburger? Haven't seen it." - Ryan
"We're declaring a national day of Alonzo Mourning?" - Alan
"Mike has stupid eyes!" - Ryan
"They're going to sword-fart!" - Mike
"Toby Keith IS the poor man's Toby Keith!" - Ryan
"You want some cheesy rice? You can put it on your wiener!" - Alan
"Oh, you mean endowed literally!" - Mike
"Here's the thing Josh...shut up!" - Joel
"Marie Osmond needed me!" - Alan
Jason: "Is Paul up?"
Matt: Yeah, I've been riding him...metaphorically."
"Let's just call it Jock Strap Night." - Matt
"...he broke his back...mountin'?" - Ryan
"If you're a person who uses instant messenger slang in everyday conversation, you need to be hit in the head with a board." - Ryan
Alan: "So, I'm engaged!"
"I don't want to hear you and Jennifer Love Hewitt in the same sentence again!" - Ryan (To Alan)
"I want to go to a funny church." - Jason
"Let's IMDB that a**hole!" - Jason
"Screwing friends is fun!" - Paul
"Here's an update: get bent!" - Paul
"I apologize for not having sufficient mammary glands." - Joel (To Josh's baby)
"Jason hates things. Anything that's a thing, he hates." - Ryan
Jason: How long is a fortnight?
Ryan and Alan: "Two weeks."
"Matt just birthed himself on me!" - Rachel
"I'm used to having things thrown at me. Things that are women." - Alan
"If I were a woman, I would want to be Renee Zellweger." - Mike
"Boni- It's the plural of bonus." - Mike
"If a joke falls flat, it came from Matt. If there's laughter from all, it must be Paul." - Ryan and Matt
Ryan: "But who would win in a sarcasm contest?"
Jason: " A sarcastoff?"
"I decided it would be best if WE ate them." - Josh, on doughnuts
"My life is an Abba song." - Ryan
"If you're going to look seductive, you should be doing it on a clean surface." - Alan
"Double your Shatner, only five dollars?! I'm in!" - Jason
"I'm not comfortable interdigitating with my toes." - Charan
"I'm really impressed with the amount of abuse your crotch can take." - Alan
"I like knockers!" - Ryan
"Life sucks a lot, but most of the time it's good." - Josh
"I think marriage is like being stranded on a desert island with the hottest girl you've ever seen as your personal love slave... but once a month, she gives you a swift kick to the groin." - Mike
"I am considerate of your junk." - Joel